How To Overcome Psychological Abuse From Your Partner

There are many types of violence within a relationship: physical, psychological, social, economic abuse… they all consist of the use of aggressiveness (active or passive) to coerce and impose power on the other person. Typically, such mistreatment is called gender-based violence. This is because, in most cases, the victim is a woman and receives the abuse only for the fact of being a woman.

We can define psychological abuse as those behaviors that aim to attack the mental stability of the victim. Yelling, insults, threats, and harassment in public or in private are just some of the clearest examples of psychological abuse. Knowing how to recognize it is the first step to getting out of this situation, for this we have signs that can help us know how to detect psychological abuse in the couple. Such as hostile attitudes, verbal aggression… and there are even questions that can help us detect an abuser, these can be the following:

• Do you tend to control your friendships?
• Do you watch your way of dressing?
• Does he always get upset if you don’t do what he or she wants?
• Do you control your money?
• Does he/she tell you that you are crazy and make you feel bad?
• Does he ridicule your work or your studies?
• Does he laugh at your physical appearance?
• Does he threaten to kill himself or hurt himself if you end the relationship?
• Does he blackmail you into having sex?
• Threaten to hurt you?

and above all…

• Do you feel afraid?

If some of these questions have resonated in our heads, it is time to ask ourselves how to overcome psychological abuse from our partner. Once the attitudes have been detected, it is time to point them out and think about getting out of that abusive relationship.

Many times, the abuser is not aware of his actions (or does not want to be aware) and it is necessary to stop his feet to prevent the violence from escalating. Facing someone aggressive is not an easy task and, in some cases, the most advisable thing is to flee from that situation to dedicate yourself to working on mental stability and strengthening our ability to overcome such traumatic situations, that is, to develop resilience.

The most important thing to defend yourself from abuse is to keep your distance and work with emotional defense techniques to avoid being affected by everything you have to tell us. It is advisable to get out of that abusive relationship, but it is not always that easy. The aggressor often uses coercion and threats to prevent us from moving away from him or her. However, it is necessary to act quickly to prevent her abuse from continuing to take its toll on our mental health.

If the threats go further and the abuse does not stop, there is also a legal way to deal with the psychological abuser.

After leaving the abusive relationship, the next step is to overcome its consequences, for this, we can count on different psychological techniques focused on strengthening self-esteem and recovering mental stability.

The first step we must take is to accept that we have been mistreated. If we continue to deny it, if we don’t want to see reality, it will be very difficult for us to overcome it. It is very hard to do so, but as long as we continue to consider the behavior of those who psychologically abuse us to be acceptable, we will not be able to successfully overcome it.

Next, we must change our way of seeing the situation. People who have suffered psychological abuse feel guilty and responsible for it, they also tend to think that what happens to them is their fault. We must learn to see what part of the responsibility the other person has in her behavior, not only to blame her but to free ourselves from responsibility for it.

Finally, it is advisable to seek help from a professional group specializing in abuse. The best thing, if we have the possibility, is to join a self-help group of people who have suffered psychological abuse, who will also provide us with access to professionals specialized in abuse. With this, we can learn to recognize abusive behaviors and techniques to deal with them. The emotional support of someone who has already been through it is very healing from an emotional point of view.

Throughout the process of overcoming, we must begin to love ourselves, develop our mental health, and accept our experiences. If we can learn anything from a situation of abuse, it is to become stronger. Mental and emotional strengths play a very important role in this journey out of an abusive situation.

The consequences of psychological abuse depend on each person and situation. There are variables such as the severity of the abuse or its duration that influence the depth of the mental wounds. However, in general, the sequels are as follows:

• Generalized anxiety: victims of psychological violence have learned to be constantly alert for everything, anxiety is usually a characteristic that lasts after leaving the abusive relationship.
• Low self-esteem: listening day after day to insults and humiliation from our partner (someone that we initially appreciate and value) ends up affecting the image we have of ourselves and, as a consequence, lowers self-esteem.
• Addictions: when we do not find any solution to our situation, sometimes we look for other ways of escape. Alcoholism in battered women is an example of a cognitive sequel after a situation of psychological abuse.
• Concentration and memory problems: the consequences of abuse can be so profound that they affect attention and memory processes. This is because our mind needs to disconnect to avoid experiencing psychological violence over and over again through memory and trauma.
• Social phobia: another fear learned during the abuse situation is the fear of relating to others. If for a certain time we have lived in fear of our partner, it is likely that this fear will be transferred to the other spheres of our lives.

Not only are there cognitive consequences, but psychological violence can also cause physical injuries such as tachycardia, spasms, respiratory problems, sexual dysfunction, and gastrointestinal disorders.

Getting ahead after abuse is not easy. However, with time and proper therapy, we can appreciate that there is life after abuse. The goal of knowing how to overcome psychological abuse from your partner is, above all, to learn to live happily and free from mental pressure.

Finally, it is worth mentioning that both the abuse and the abuser himself must be denounced and prosecuted. These types of actions are intolerable and go against human rights themselves. If the abuser is not punished or his behavior pointed out to him, he is likely to lash out at another victim.

This article is merely informative, in BuzzBongo we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.